


Pumpkin Spice

by TheNightling



Category: The Sandman (Comics)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22789918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightling/pseuds/TheNightling
Summary: Ever wonder why some dreams abruptly change setting on you?
Comments: 15
Kudos: 8





	Pumpkin Spice

Pumpkin Spice 

The bride walked down the aisle. It was a beautiful wedding in a grand cathedral, an ancient one she had only seen in movies and books. She didn’t question how she could possibly afford this. It didn’t matter. It was perfect. Everyone was here. Her mother, her high school math teacher, Wonder Woman, and even Robert Smith from The Cure. At least… He looked like Robert Smith. She made a note to talk to him later.

She carried her bouquet of live lobsters (which smelt like roses) toward the room. He was so handsome there. Was she marrying Tom Hiddleston or Loki? The hair style screamed Loki of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but he didn’t feel like Loki. 

The man in front of them was a vicor from a famous fantasy movie. She recognized the dialogue. “Mawiage is what bwings us here twogether twoday. Do woo take this…”  
The panic was washing over her.  
“Love,” Tom Hiddleston asked her gently, “Are you all right?” with his famous concern and politeness.  
“I- I need to get out of here!”  
Poor Tom Hiddleston-Loki looked so confused. He didn’t understand her fear of commitment. Even if he was the most gorgeous man she could think of. 

She nearly stumbled over her own long wedding dress. She lifted the heavy skirts to keep from stumbling and she pulled free from Tom’s gentle grasp. She ran down the aisle and toward the great big glass doors. She was now no longer in the ancient, Gothic cathedral but instead in a bustling shopping mall, the way they had been when she was a teenager in the mid-90s. Oh, there was Swam Goody! She missed Sam Goody. She bought the Lost Boys soundtrack there. It was the first album she ever owned on CD…

She had no time to shop though. The wedding party was chasing her. They had torches and pitchforks like in an old monster movie. And they were coming for her. She ran through the crowds, dodging old school friends and then she realized she had run so far she was no longer in the 1990s shopping mall but was now in an early 2000s high school. It smelt of pencils and chalk and cleaning chemicals. Those odors would forever give her anxiety.

Marnie woke with a gasp. She was in her own bed in her apartment. She looked to the nightstand. The pumpkin spice latte she had before bed must have caused those strange dreams. Yes, that’s what it was… Pumpkin Spice…

In the castle of The Lord of Dreams Morpheus was not pleased…  
He sat on his Nightmare throne, an ornate and Gothic thing with wax-dripping candles mounted upon it. His raven, Matthew, was perched behind him. The throne was comfortable, with a blue cushion seat and most of it was dark wood. A set of small stairs lead up to the throne and those steps were fringed with small spiders and a plain pumpkin or two. Cobwebs also decorated the throne to add to the decidedly Gothic ambiance. 

“Mervyn?” Morpheus said firmly, his improbably thin, bone-white, hands resting on the arms of the throne. Morpheus was a very thin figure that looked more emaciated than imposing. He had wild, dark hair that was almost feathery. His eyes were black as midnight skies with a tiny star-like pupil in each one. He wore dark yet elegant robes.” 

The creature before Morpheus looked nervous. He was a jack-o-lantern headed scarecrow figure in green corduroy overalls. He wore a bow tie and a white shirt. His body was constructed from pumpkin vines. The jack-o-lantern face looked worried. And he fidgeted. “Yeah, boss?’

“I explicitly told you she was to dream of her wedding in Notre Dame Cathedral. She was to carry a bouquet of white gardenia flowers.”  
“Yeah. Got a perfect Dream Hiddles and dusted off Lynda Carter for ya too. Just like you asked.”  
“I did not mention the cast. I was talking about the cathedral itself.”  
“Yeah, that was the cathedral, all right. Got it right down to the stainglass an-“  
“Why was there a shopping mall?”  
“Uh…. Well, you never asked me to install external Paris. I had to improvise. And the mall was the only set readily available… I didn’t know she was gonna skip out.”  
“I see. And the school corridor?”  
“Uh…. Well, you see, you gave me so much work these last few weeks that I…” the pumpkin was being sheepish.  
“That you, what, Mervyn?”  
“I…Uh… Never finished the mall. So I transitioned it into a left over school set…”  
Morpheus sighed. “You did not give Notre Dame an exterior even though you knew it might be necessary so you compensated with an unfinished mall and compensated with that using an American High school.”  
“Yeah… When you put it like that…” Mervyn Pumpkinhead was rubbing the back of his neck.

Morpheus put a hand to his temples. “I expect you to complete the dreams as I request them, Mervyn.”  
“Yeah, boss… Sorry boss.”  
“I am not sure why I tolerate your foolishness, Mervyn.”  
“Well, I think you maybe sorta like me. Hehe.”  
Morpheus lowered his hand to glare at the Pumpkinheaded servant.  
“He’s got a point.” The raven said abruptly, as if to remind all present that he could talk.  
“You know how everyone says you have no sense of humor?” The raven continued.  
“Everyone says that?” Morpheus asked warily.  
“Yeah… Anyway, I think you HAVE to have a sense of humor. You created him after all!” The raven gestured with his wing toward Mervyn.  
Morpheus raised his eyebrows.

Mervyn gained some confidence and spoke up. “Let me quote or ..er… paraphrase Jeff Dunham for ya, boss.”  
“Who?”  
“A comedian.”  
“Ah, yes.” Though Morpheus didn’t really sound like he knew who he was talking about.  
“Merv, don’t.” Matthew The Raven warned.  
“Relax. I’m not going to quote his bit directly, just paraphrasing a little. It’s not copyright infringement! Also what’s he gonna do? Sue The Dreaming? Anyway, Boss… You don’t do crack, right?”  
Morpheus, blinked, not quite understanding the reference and then realized it was some sort of narcotic. “No, you know me better than that.”  
“Ugh.” The raven sighed.  
“You don’t do crack. Okay. Do you do heroin?”  
“No, though that one is derived from a flower many associate with me.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Save the botany class for later. You’re spoiling the bit.”  
Morpheus looked irritated.  
“You don’t do crack, you don’t do heroin. Do you do pot?”  
Morpheus looked confused again but answered simply. “No.”  
“Do you do LSD?”  
“What? No.”  
“You don’t do pot, you don’t do crack, you don’t do Heroin, and you don’t do LSD?”  
“I do not need, nor do I take, any mind altering substances, Mervyn.”  
“Then how the Hell did you create me?!”

For a moment both the Pumpkinheaded servant and the raven were worried their master might be infuriated by the joke. 

Morpheus made a waving gesture with his hand. “You may go now, Mervyn.”  
“Never can take a joke.” The jack-o-lantern headed servant grumbled as he sulked away.

As soon as Mervyn was gone the raven fluttered down to get closer to Morpheus. “Why DID you create him anyway?”

Morpheus did not answer though should you, dear reader, find yourself dreaming of an apple orchard that suddenly turns into Disney World, or an unusually warm snowy landscape, or a beach off the coast of Mount Everest or perhaps a forest in your laundry room, you will know precisely who to thank.

The End


End file.
